Ignorance is Bliss

During the current unemployment crisis in Canada the government has announced that white-collar workers are faring far worse than their blue-collar brothers. Apparently, the people most severely hit by unemployment are those with a college degree, while men with a high school education or less are having no trouble finding work.

Naturally, this situation has changed the attitudes of fathers in many middle-class homes:

“Son, I think it’s about time you started seriously looking for a job.”

“But Dad, I’m only sixteen. Don’t you want me to finish high school?”

“Certainly not! The Postal Departent doesn’t demand a high school education, and after that last wage increase they won, a mailman’s job would be ideal. Nothing like working for the government to keep your job.”

“But Dad!”

“Or, if you prefer, you could be a bus driver. They got a pretty good pay increase after that last strike, and bus drivers never get fired.”

“You mean you want me to drive a bus for a living? What about all the plans we had for me to go to college?”

“College! Don’t you mention that word again in this house! Do you know that there are three college graduates for every job available in this country?”

“But Dad, I wanted to get a PhD!”

“You bite your tongue! Nobody hires PhDs anymore, and even if they did, TV repairmen earn a lot more money.”

“But Dad, think of the prestige of being a college graduate.”

“You can’t eat prestige! A plumber or an electrician, now there’s a profession! Those unions really protect a guy’s job.”

“Dad, an educated man can always earn a decent living.”

“That’s what you think. A bricklayer now, that’s another story. Do you know what they make an hour? And look at the power a blue-collar worker wields! Why, the garbagemen in England tied up the whole country, polluted the Thames and even refused to remove the garbage of the Queen!”

“But Dad—”

“You listen to your father, son. I wouldn’t steer you wrong. An education today is the kiss of death on the employment market. You take my advice and quit school now while you’re still ignorant enough to get yourself hired.”